another one for you pun lovers

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 28-Sep-2008 16:08:46

Once upon a time, a beautiful young antelope had a wild date in the forest, so she was getting all gussied up -- new dress, makeup, everything. Suddenly, as she was just about ready, she was stampeded by a herd of wild beasts, becoming the first self-dressed, stamped antelope

Post 2 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 28-Sep-2008 16:45:15

Becky, that's so bad its wonderful. Is this what is meant by
pun-ishment?


Lou

Post 3 by Big Pawed Bear (letting his paws be his guide.) on Sunday, 28-Sep-2008 16:45:16

ooooah no! not that! sheieieit. eheheheh

Post 4 by blindndangerous (the blind and dangerous one) on Sunday, 28-Sep-2008 20:05:23

O so that's how we got those.

Post 5 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Monday, 29-Sep-2008 22:46:43

rofl

Post 6 by Wraith (Prince of Chaos) on Tuesday, 30-Sep-2008 2:28:30

Hi. My name is Oaty Aunt, and I'm here to tell you my sad life story. (Yes, Aunt really is my family name.)

I asked Melony, my girlfriend, the following question: "Honeydew you wanna run away with me?"
She said: "I'm too divine, so we cantaloupe."
Needless to say, I was rather squashed by her rejection, so I decided to pump kin and palm a date with her sister instead.
Unfortunately, her father always kept close gord on her, and he never did letice deflower her egg plant.
I never knew how bitter Melony would get, seeing me with her sister.
Why, I literally had to citron her to keep her from kicking me.
I was cool with one of her brothers (we sometimes enjoy passing the weed around), so I told him: "Hey Hami g dog! Will you help me get to the root of sugar Melony's problems?"
Being both beanevolent and a bit of a vegetable in the head, he agreed to help me find ackee to her heart.
Not wishing to spread too much discordia amongst her family, we decided to insert a roo barb in our marriage license which would prevent her from becoming a cereal killer.
I admit it was acorny idea, but what can you really do when you're losing and all your chips argan?
I also never expected her sister to turn into a stocker, calling me all the thyme, telling me: "I'm going to cashew and make you mine again!"
I personally don't like nuts. Not wanting to be pinyoned to that psycho, I decided that I'd leaf the pickle I'd gotten myself in and leave her to pine alone.
Sadly, the very night I was to depart, Melony caught me packing my walnut chest. Nuts with rage, she quickly had me cordoned off, and soon after had filled herself with my stalk.
I didn't think anything would stem from it, but, alas, my rapeseed had given her twins. She named the first girl Dou, and the second Ble.

So listen to this dandy lyin' sage, and never get involved with Melony or any of her fruity family!

Signed,
Oaty Aunt.

Post 7 by SingerOfSongs (Heresy and apostasy is how progress is made.) on Tuesday, 30-Sep-2008 19:30:23

Jesus Kai. I thought just the first part from your msn was bad. The rest is even worse. :P

Post 8 by Emerald-Hourglass (Account disabled) on Thursday, 02-Oct-2008 11:11:10

LMAO

Post 9 by Emerald-Hourglass (Account disabled) on Thursday, 02-Oct-2008 11:14:27

that is rather special lol

Post 10 by SEPTEMBER-TWILIGHT (CAN I TALK? PLEASE?) on Thursday, 02-Oct-2008 15:36:02

omgomgomg kai, omg. roflmao. lol, how do you have these ways with words? omg, its just unbelievable

and i dont get becky's pun, lol

Post 11 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 02-Oct-2008 16:54:08

It was a pun on the phrase self-addressed, stamped envelope. If you didn't understand that one, did you really understand all of Kai's crazy puns?